Episode
The Osbournes: Beauty and the Bert
Overview
Kelly gets a new boyfriend but keeps him far from home, worried the family will scare him off before he even makes it through the door.
Details
- Series
- The Osbournes
- Season
- Season 2
- Episode
- Episode 5
- Air date
- 2002-12-17
Episode context
Beauty and the Bert is Episode 5 in Season 2 of The Osbournes. It aired on 2002-12-17.
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Episode 4: The Ozz Man and the Sea
While Kelly heads to Europe for press and Jack films a guest spot on Dawson’s Creek in North Carolina, Ozzy tries to lift Sharon’s spirits by building a beachside fire so she can enjoy the outdoors.
Episode 6: Smells Like Teen Spirits
Sharon reconnects with her father after more than two decades of silence, while Ozzy discovers a newfound obsession with burritos. Meanwhile, Jack and Kelly’s late-night partying leaves their parents thoroughly unimpressed.
More episodes from this season
Episode 3: Must Come Down
Sharon retreats to the family’s Malibu beach house to recover after receiving unexpected health news, while Ozzy battles to stay sober on tour under the weight of it all.
Episode 7: Meow Means No!
Kelly brings in her friend Sarah to drum for her band, while Jack’s buddy Dill returns for another stay. Meanwhile, one freshly fixed dog gets a little too friendly with the rest of the animals.
Episode 2: What Goes Up...
Jack finds amusement in handling the stream of annoying tourists flocking to the house since the show’s breakout success. Meanwhile, Kelly preps for her MTV Awards debut, and Ozzy and Sharon head to Washington, D.C.
Episode 8: It's a Hard Knock Life
As Kelly’s career heats up, she grows weary of the nonstop interviews and photo shoot, prompting Ozzy to step in with some fatherly support.
Episode 1: Catching Up with the Osbournes
Sharon looks back on Season 1 and reflects on the show’s sudden, massive impact on the Osbournes’ lives.
Episode 9: Cleanliness Is Next to Ozzyness
Ozzy grows increasingly anxious about Sharon's health. Her immune system is shot from the chemo, and the dogs run wild through the house. He cleans obsessively, urging everyone to wear gloves and masks.
Episode 10: Viva Ozz Vegas
The family decides to go to Las Vegas for Kelly's 18th birthday.
Episode 11: My Big Fat Jewish Wedding
Sharon and Ozzy plan to renew their vows on New Year’s Eve, but not everyone’s on board. Kelly objects to the rabbi officiating since they’re not Jewish, and Ozzy is less than enthusiastic about the preparations.
Episode 12: What a Boy Wants
Kelly officially declares war on Christina Aguilera, while Jack has simpler ambitions - he just wants to celebrate his birthday at Medieval Times.
Episode 13: Flea's a Crowd
A flea infestation wreaks havoc on the Osbourne household, leaving the pets frantic and the family itchy and miserable.