Two and a Half Men: Season 1

Episode 1: Pilot 2003-09-22 | 23 min Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him. Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards 2003-09-29 | 21 min Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things. Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 2003-10-06 | 21 min Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father. Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 2003-10-13 | 21 min Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice. Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 2003-10-20 | 19 min Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes. Episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 2003-10-27 | 21 min The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid. Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake 2003-11-03 | 21 min Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends. Episode 8: Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful 2003-11-10 | 19 min Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show. Episode 9: Phase One, Complete 2003-11-17 | 21 min Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn. Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving 2003-11-24 | 21 min Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him. Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 2003-12-15 | 20 min When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image. Episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheromones 2004-01-05 | 21 min Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old. Episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan 2004-01-12 | 20 min Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time. Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas 2004-02-02 | 21 min Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget. Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 2004-02-09 | 21 min Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems. Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan 2004-02-16 | 21 min Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him. Episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 2004-02-23 | 20 min Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital. Episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick 2004-03-01 | 21 min Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man. Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 2004-03-22 | 19 min Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own. Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 2004-04-19 | 21 min Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist. Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing 2004-05-03 | 21 min Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario. Episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 2004-05-10 | 21 min When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure. Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo 2004-05-17 | 21 min When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie. Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger? 2004-05-24 | 21 min Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.